Keeping (some) productivity while depressed

First things first. Depression is complex, with different types, stages and strength. If you are in a state called clinical or major depression: don’t get out of bed, don’t have the will to take care of yourself, don’t eat, don’t sleep properly. If you are in this stage, well, fuck the productivity, get help. You don’t believe me now, but things will eventually get better IF you get help. Also, be very careful about other people, don’t do anything that can screw up friendships and relationships, because you are in a mind frame that other people just don’t understand. Be careful and take care.

So, just the minimum essential stuff of your life is a heavy burden, but still there are bills to be payed at the end of the month. This is my holding on playbook, and as always i have no responsibility if you apply any of these guidelines and everything goes very wrong.

1 – accept the fact that you are not 100%. This is very important, don’t deny and accept this simple fact, it gets you much more grounded and support your choices. Depression can last for months or years, so take it like any other chronic illness, adapt and learn to live with it.

2 – also accept the fact that you will work less. I worked an average of 12h a day (sometimes weekends included) and now a weekday average of 4h is average, 6h is good and 8h is excellent. Adapt your life to this reality, don’t do “wishful thinking”.

3 – try to be flexible in your work schedules. In many work situations this is not doable at all, if you work at a store or in a factory or something like that skip to the next guideline. But if you can, be flexible, i mean really flexible. I just don’t mean getting half hour late and going out also after hour later. Let’s be honest, your sleep and mental patterns are all fucked up. Do you think that you will produce any good mental work at 9am when at 5am you were staring at the ceiling? It’s much more productive to be working at 5am instead of looking at the ceiling and resting at 9am instead of being an office zombie. In the last months i have get things done probably at each and every hour of the day.

4 – this last guideline, brings up also guideline #1. Don’t be ashame and explain your situation to your boss/partner/manager/etc. It’s really important they understand that you are not lazy, or trying to fuck things over at work. Look, if you were able to do, is really awkward to them that out of the blue you aren’t able to perform the same way now. Ultimately the reaction is that you just don’t care less about working and the company/business. It’s your responsibility to make them understand what’s going on.

5 – break tasks into really tiny and achievable bits. Each work day, try to finish up some of the tasks and take a moment to contemplate. Don’t make extensive time and project planning, or if someone earns their money doing some nice Gantt charts for your time, just don’t give a shit about it. Focus on your next tiny task.

6 – tell yourself on the start of the work day several times, I AM A GREAT ________ (fill in with your work). I CAN DO THIS. In my case, i say to myself: I am a great programmer. I can do this.

7 – exercise, plenty and hard. It seems counter intuitive, with the low energy levels to punish yourself even harder. But bear with me, the low energy levels come from your brain (except if your depressed from some clinical condition) and not exercising is just letting your body decay that in turn will lead to a more weak mind, can you see the negative loop? Also it will release endorphins and dopamine that relieve your brain pain. Another benefit that i account for is that will drift your mind from your sad toughs loop, when beneath an heavy barbell you don’t feel sad, you just focus on lifting that shit away from you. Again, when running and tired and 5kms away from your car or house, you don’t feel sad at all, you just focus on getting there.

8 – keep up friendships, specially with the good vibes kind of persons that bring something positive to your life. The bad vibes, problematic kind of friends, keep them away. Remember there is a Yin there is a Yang, there is Winter there is Summer, there is sour there is sweet, night and day, there is work and there is fun.

9 – get outdoors, specially when the Sun is shining. Go for a walk, go to the beach, go and eat your favorite food, go for a drink, just go outside. Move to a walking friendly neighborhood. This is a personal rule, don’t stay indoors for more than 24h.

10 – avoid listening to sad music, watching sad movies, reading sad books, etc. Some are masterpieces in their own right, but let them be for other times. If you can, skip the evening news on TV, 90% is just garbage, completely biased to negativity not to positivity (too much stories about unemployment, crime and gore).

11 – don’t give up, when things look really dark just hold on to your core tasks, core values and keep going forward. Don’t give up on work, don’t give up on good friendships, don’t give up on love. Be optimistic. Tomorrow is another day. And after, another and so on, and someday all of your being will come together again, and by that time you will come up stronger as ever.

UPDATE:

I just realized a very important fact. Ask yourself, what is the opposite of depression? It’s not happiness. It’s mania. And what is mania? It’s a state characterized by euphoria, great excitement, delusions and hyper activity. It’s doing stuff, lots and lots of it. It’s an over optimistic state, when you are in overdrive (as the opposite of the stuck in depression) just doing all kinds of stuff, maybe some that you will later regret…

But the point is, when depressed, probably it’s a good bet to focus less in happiness, stop asking how can i get happy again, and shift this mind set and start asking how can i get this stuff done, how to summon your drained resources and focus on the next little task ahead.

Because in a split second, it’s gone.
Ayrton Senna

Exercice program – 12 weeks

After a major disruption in life… I’m starting again to take care of my body, some jogging (pain free!!), some gym, and a bit of open water swimming and surfing.  I think our body is one of our greatest treasures and should be well cared for. Besides, the physical is the the first pillar of a solid human foundation. The four pillars are: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. As they are all chained together, when you work and improve one, it has a positive impact on the others too.
So now is the perfect opportunity to set a goal, and my goal is to keep the current weight (about 75Kgs) but to lower my body fat percentage. By the scientific method of seeing pictures of bodies with different percentages and comparing with myself, i can’t be far from the 25% percent. So the goal is around 15% body fat percentage.

The Exercise Program

Disclaimer, this is my own program. I spent some time experimenting what works for me and what doesn’t. Also, it addresses lots of personal variables, as time, more vs less crowded equipments at the gym, available items, hate of abdominal crunches, etc… you can take some ideas, but beware I’m not in any way an exercise expert, so don’t do anything that can hurt your health.

Weekly Program: 4 sessions (running, swimming, 2 times at gym). The order is irrelevant, and can change from week to week.

1 – A 10k, easy sub 60m run. But with some sprints to put the heart in high revs to burn off the accumulated particulate (actually the purpose of the sprints is to become more efficient runner by working above the lactate threshold). This is the primary cardio workout.

2 – A 45m swimming session in the pool. Just to swim non-stop at an easy pace. This is the main stretch, balance and relaxing training session. It also activates the muscles that can be left behind in the gym.

3 – A couple sessions in the gym. Maximum 50m each session.

Day 1
5m warmup: easy rowing/ciclyng and joints rotations

Shoulders (light weight as warmup follow-up)
Lateral Raise DB – 2×10 (lateral deltoid)
Alternating Front Raise DB – 2×10 (anterior deltoid)

Chest
Bench Press 3 sets of 12,10 and 8
Incline bench press, 3 sets of 12,10 and 8
Flies, 3 sets of 12,10,8 reps or
Dips, 3×10

Triceps
CGBP EZBar 4×10
French Press 4×10

ABS
Myotatic Crunch and
Vacuuming
Superset of 3×10

Day 2
5m warmup: easy rowing/ciclyng and joints rotations

Shoulders (light weight as warmup follow-up)
Lateral Raise DB – 2×10 (lateral deltoid)
Rear Lateral Raise DB – 2×10 (posterior deltoid)

Back
Cable pulldown 12,10,8
Pull-ups 15 (in many sets has needed)
Seated rows 12,10,8
Deadlifts 3×10

Biceps
Stand Up or Seated Curl 4×10
EZ Bar Curl 4×10 or
Preacher BB Curl 4×10
Hammer DB Curl 3×10

ABS
Myotatic Crunch and
Vacuuming
Superset of 3×10

Actually the hidden and true goal, is to stick with this the 12 weeks. To have the strength and discipline to follow this calendar (even in the no good mood days, brain off days, rainy days, etc). In every way, with or without visible results, it will build a stronger version of myself by doing it. So help me God.

W1: R G2 G1 S24
W2: R G2 G1 S40
W3: R G2 G1 S10 (Xmas Week)
W4: G2 R G1 S26 (New Year Week)
W5: G2 G1 R S30
W6: G2 G1 S30 R
W7: G2 S24 G1
W8:

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.

David Herbert Lawrence

Football pearls

Football (the sport that is actually played with the foot and a ball, not the boring stuff from the States that is played with hands and a gourd), and specially football players and managers are such a funny bunch 🙂 Here are some of the best comic pearls (true gems).

Bruma gives some kind of funny interview

Paulo Fonseca talks about a match with Eintracht Frankfurt

A true Mantorras classic

Bruno Carvalho, russians trónhónhó

Vitor Pereira, arabic press conference (must be something in the tea)

Futre, focused, and the Chinese player

Mourinho papellito

Futre, hilarious auto profile, the arms

Toni kicking ass of the arabians

Toni talking “spanish”

And for sure, much more yet to come.

35

After the Annus Horribilis i have to report that this year has gone a bit better. In what is known as the midlife crisis (yes, i even bought myself the convertible…) decisions have been made throughout the year, some tiny some big, that slowly (yet steadily) are improving my life as a whole.

  • Move out and away from a very unhappy place
  • Share new house with a friend
  • (Re)start sport activity
  • Set aside each and every person that is not correct or brings unhappiness
  • Take care and give back to each and every person that is correct and brings happiness
  • Balance work and real life
  • Enjoy what i have now, tomorrow it can be all gone

I also developed a very simple set of rules regarding relationships. Some may seem strange in the world as it is today…

  • Anyone already committed is off limits
  • Anyone in workplace is off limits
  • Don’t fool around, relationships are not a competition, less is more
  • Don’t rush nothing, it takes the time that i it takes
  • Be honest and correct (no matter what, whom or when)

And even if all things considered this as not been a good year, it has been much better than the previous one. I feel some kind of stand on point, and am crawling out of the hole, slowly but steady.

Very important goals in this year:

  • Focus, focus, focus
  • Don’t be late, don’t be late, don’t be late

My bite on Apple

Love it or hate it, it’s the kind of company that leaves no one indifferent. It showed the world (at least to the masses) the personal computer, the graphic interface, the decent portable music player, a real smartphone and what a tablet should be like. All very nice and disruptive. All products are incredible well made, beautiful design and taste, and they just work out of the box like no other in the market. I should love it. But the sad true is i don’t.

Company culture runs top down, and Steve Jobs was indeed a visionary and incredible smart person, but also a manipulative, control freak, indifferent to his own child’s, cruel kind of person (probably a big jerk). Unfortunately a lot of that spilled over to Apple.

Lot’s of (unnecessary) proprietary stuff.
Long story of conflicts with other companies and standards. Adobe, Google, just to name a couple.
Closing the market with all kind of patents and legal tricks.
Mac OS X has a huge portion of FreeBSD on it but i don’t see a cent donated by Apple (list of donors include Cisco, Google, Juniper, NetApp, McAfee, Dell, etc).
I see Google doing some incredible work at a social level, Google foundation, X-Prize. In counterpart is there an Apple foundation?
One buys an Iphone/Ipad and must pay a developer account or jail brake. The SDK is only available for Apple computers.
One must get his OWN files to his OWN device trough Itunes…

And the list goes on and on… does the profit, a vision, or whatever justify this kind of policies? Do the ends justify the means? For Steve Jobs sure, for Apple sure, but not for me. So me choices are rather obvious (check here, here and here).

FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM bitch!

One more thing 🙂 … it’s kind of sad that all those geeks that were upset some ten years ago by Microsoft monopolistic actions and autism, most of all switched to Apple, giving their love and support to an even worse company in that matter. You can get in a meeting with IT staff and 90% of those that were running Windows laptops some years ago now proudly show their Apple gear… talk about brainwash… i can only recall the old Apple motto “Think different”… probably will glue this to my Linux laptop one of those days.